Kelly's Korner

It's a hockey night in Pittsburgh! If you are looking for a true Pittsburgh hockey bar, look no further than Kelly's Korner. It’s the kind of bar where you will make new friends while watching a hockey game and screaming at the TV. If there is a hockey game on and you have no interest in hockey, please go somewhere else. You will be annoyed by the screaming hockey fans and they will be annoyed by you. It is just a vicious circle of annoyance.

About the bar: It is a small Irish bar in the Pittsburgh vein of Irish bars (which means that it has some ugly green shamrock stuff up). It’s pretty much exactly what you would expect. It’s pretty tiny, is cash only and there is smoking. It’s a neighborhood bar where you watch hockey, as opposed to a sports bar. The drinks are pretty cheap and they are served with indifference to non-regulars. However, we did see much love between the bartender and some of the permanent fixtures there. The regulars even seem to help make sure everyone is taken care of, which creates a nice vibe.

The only other thing we will say is that we are happy there is not a “Kozy” in between Kelly's and Korner. We once accidentally rented a racist cabin in Deep Creek with a name like “Kozy Kottage Kabin.” We did not think much of it until we found the KKK section of the guest book. It definitely gave a different feel to our lakeside cabin and we felt super weird about it. Then we got drunk. It’s called coping. At any rate, we’re hoping Kelly’s Korner doesn’t have the same issue.

Address:	285 45th St, 15201	Games:	Poker, Pinball, Darts, Magic Touch
Façade:	Hidden, Not Scary	Scene:	Tiny Sports Bar
Parking:	Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	Some	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Dirt Cheap	# taps:	4
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Not Really
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$7.00
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	Yes
TVs:	3	Size:	Hole in the Wall

Stinky's

Stinky's, besides having the name Stinky's, looks like some kind of evil-bar-fortress. Just look at the picture! It has neon signs in every window on the second and third floor, but no windows on the first floor. It would make a good place to wait out a few days in a zombie attack before the inevitable betrayal of the douche-bag guy that wants to get to his boat or something like that.

We had never been to this bar, which is rare for us, and we had no clue what to expect with such an imposing facade. We were severely underwhelmed. It is just a bar, with what seems to be a much too large dining area in the back. Do they really have a dinner crowd so large that it warrants 30 tables in the back room? We have no clue and probably will not find out, but we doubt it. Seems like all that space could be used better. At any rate, holy TVs Batman! You are seriously surrounded. If you want to make sure you can see whatever sporting event you came to see in three different places, this could be your bar.

At some point, A saw one of the bartenders go into the back room and followed her to see if he could find the secret evil upstairs laboratory, something to make this place unique and exciting. When spotted, he feigned looking for the bathroom, but did learn that there is an upstairs they rent out for private parties. We are both very skeptical and are positive there is a mad beer-genius up there conducting crazy alcohol experiments.

Other than that, they have some great drink specials (see photos), the food that people were eating around us looked good and we have heard decent things about their grub. It is a smoking bar, so heads up for that. A did get a free glass for ordering a pumpkin beer, which will definitely not end up shattered in his trunk after he forgets about it months from now.

Address:	4901 Hatfield St, 15201 http://www.stinkysbarandgrill.com/	Games:	Lottery, Poker
Façade:	Scary	Scene:	Tiny Sports Bar
Parking:	Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	Some	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	Mon-Fri 11am-2am Sat-Sun 12am-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Average	# taps:	10
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Daily
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$10.50
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	>10	Size:	Normal

Allegheny Wine Mixer

It's the fucking Catalina Allegheny Wine Mixer.

They actually do a pretty accurate job describing themselves on their website, but here is our take:

This is a great place if you like wine enough to drink it sometimes, but not so much that you're a dick about it. J usually just gets whatever the $5 glass is and that's good enough for her. They've certainly got some expensive wines available, but most of their glasses are under $11 and that is our kind of wine bar.

When they first opened it was packed as people always want to be the first to try new things, but they've settled in a little bit now and it's become a really great place to grab a few drinks. It's got a mellow and unpretentious atmosphere and some very tasty meat and cheese snacks.

If you're not a wine drinker, you are also accepted here. They've got a small but well-chosen selection of beers and liquors. Actually, "small but well-chosen" is a good description of the whole place. 

But be warned, it is also a place where unspeakable crimes occur. Shame on you, John Stamos picture stealer! 

Address:	5326 Butler St, 15201 http://www.alleghenywinemixer.com/	Games:	None
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Low Pretense Wine Bar
Parking:	Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Meat and Cheese Snacks	Cleanliness:	Nice
Smoking:	None	Jukebox:	N/A
Hours:	Wed, Thurs, Sun 5pm-12am Fri, Sat 5pm-1am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Average	# taps:	6
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Daily
Live music:	Sometimes a DJ	Riley Factor:	N/A
ATM:	No	Cash Only	No
TVs:	0	Size:	Hole in the Wall

Bar 11

Dude, trippy. It's all black lights and lasers in Bar 11. When you sit down at the bar, you get toys and a candy necklace. J found her spirit animal’s soul mate here, so all was not lost.

They had it all done up for Halloween and we've got to tell you, the door activated leg that falls from the ceiling was a nice touch. We've also got to tell you it was deserted and hot. It was just us and the bartender, and the Cardinals playing the Dodgers, which the bartender was very interested in for some reason. At any rate, we got our drinks. We played with our toys and we probably annoyed the bartender with our level of silliness, but we were cool with that.

We hear this place is a hipster haven in the South Side and that might be true, but when we were there it was just us, toys, and trippy lighting. So if that sounds like your thing, go check it out. We'll try to get there some other day when it has people in it, but there are just so many bars in the South Side and we only have two livers.

They do have one of the more insane drink specials we’ve seen: Fridays from 8-11pm, its $11 for all you can drink domestic beers. We can only assume that it is packed on Fridays because that is a really great deal. We can also assume that it probably turns into a real shit show.

Address:	1101 Bradish St, 15203	Games:	Darts, Magic Touch
Façade:	Scary	Scene:	Blacklight Dive
Parking:	Wear Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	None	Cleanliness:	Nasty
Smoking:	Some	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	8pm-2am, closed Sun	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Dirt Cheap	# taps:	0
Bathrooms:	Hover	Specials:	Daily
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$6.00
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	1	Size:	Normal

Tad's on East Carson

Speaking of South-Side-Dude-Bros, we have found their secret nesting ground and witnessed their bizarre reproduction ritual. When we walked into Tad’s we knew right away we had found something special. Could it be the mythical South-Side-Dude-Bro nesting grounds?! We were excited as we took our seats and began observing the nowhere near endangered South-Side-Dude-Bros in their natural element. What we saw next shocked and amazed us. Fueled by a steady diet of $1 beers and $2 bombs, and using all the appropriate South-Side-Dude-Bro language and hand greetings, they turned their baseball caps just so, and then, right before our eyes, they started to split in two. Dude Bro Mitosis! We knew it!

If anyone knows of any scientific journals that would be likely to publish our findings, please submit them to us. We feel like this is an important scientific discovery that may lead to controlling the South-Side-Dude-Bro population.  Please have your South-Side-Dude-Bro spayed or neutered.


What else happened at Tad's? Girls were bored by their South-Side-Dude-Bro boyfriends, shots were served in the abominable ranch dressing cups, we felt super ancient, and one random old dude tried his luck with a young lady bored to tears by her own South-Side-Dude-Bro.

Address:	1109 East Carson St, 15203 http://tadsoneastcarson.com/	Games:	Pool, Darts, Pinball, Magic Touch
Façade:	A Little Scary	Scene:	South-Side-Bro-Dude
Parking:	Wear Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	Some	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	-2am	Cig Machine:	Yes
Drink Prices:	Dirt Cheap	# taps:	4
Bathrooms:	Hover	Specials:	$1 beers and $2 bombs
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$8.00, but $7 "for us"
ATM:	No	Cash Only	No
TVs:	7	Size:	Normal

The Urban Tap

A new bar in the South Side? No way! With the ever-changing landscape of the South Side bar scene, we feel like we’ll never be done reviewing. The newest player is The Urban Tap. They opened in early October 2013 and this new space has really done it up right.

It is a huge newly built-out space with rolling garage doors at the front, which gives it the feeling of being an outside space without the hassle of actually being outside. The bar is very long and comfortable with power plugs for charging your phone; one of the new bar innovations that we readily welcome. There are all kinds of tables: high-tops, booths, regular tables, half high-top half-booth. They are arranged in a very interesting manner as well, allowing for clusters of different sized groups. The entire space has a really good feel to it.

The beer selection is just right as well, especially for a South Side bar. Are there more beers than at Hough's? No. Do people in the South Side really want to be confronted with that level of choice? Probably not. Still, it has more than enough taps to live up to its name, including one enormous tap. Check out the picture. Seriously, it is huge. It is also one of those taps where you push the beer up into it and the beer comes out all non-foamy and good. We had already eaten, but the menu looked really good with a surprising number of vegetarian options. Plus, they have an open kitchen, which is kind of cool.

 We're hoping that The Urban Tap manages to avoid the "typical South Side bar" pitfalls. It is off the beaten path all the way down on 12th street, so maybe they don't get the same amount of traffic as some of the more centrally located South Side bars. However, being such a cool new bar, we are sure people are making their way down to check it out. And if they are like us, they will want to go back again.

Address:	1209 E Carson, 15203 http://theurbantap.com/	Games:	Darts
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Beer
Parking:	Wear Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Come Hungry	Cleanliness:	Nice
Smoking:	None	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	11am-2am	Cig Machine:	Yes
Drink Prices:	Average	# taps:	41
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Daily and Game Specials
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$10.00
ATM:	No	Cash Only	No
TVs:	3	Size:	Pretty Big

Kopy's

This is one of those hidden-away, off-the-beaten-path bars. In fact, it is so hidden-away that we were the only people in it. It seemed like a few people had been in to watch the hockey game, but afterwards it was just us.

So while we can't give you any ideas about the clientele, we can give you a rundown on the place and its owner. He's been there for 22 years, has owned it for 17 and seems like a genuinely good guy. It turns out when you are the only people in the bar and the bartender sits on the counter behind the bar right across from you, you are going to have a conversation with them. We discussed small business ownership, politics, government shut-downs, debt default, healthcare, pretty much a rundown of every current event topic. And despite coming at them from very different perspectives, we had a civil discussion and parted on amicable terms. It turns out most people are not irrational ideologues and both sides can have some valid points.

The bar is a classic neighborhood bar. There are no frills; it's just a place to drink. The owner said he gets a little bit of a crowd Thursday through Saturday, but that the main throngs of the South Side don't make it over to him, which he seemed fine with.  He also said he gets good business from the service industry folks trying to get away from the people they were just serving. No complaints from us about that. It's got a pool table, darts, and pinball. It has a fairly small beer and liquor selection, but you should really just be ordering a shot and a beer here anyway. And man, it is really cheap.


We weren't in love with it and nothing exciting happened, but it is a solid neighborhood bar and a place that is safe from the kind of Dude Bro douches that you run into in so much of the South Side.

Address:	80 S 12th St, 15203	Games:	Pool, Darts, Pinball
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Neighborhood
Parking:	Wear Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	None	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	Some	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	-2am	Cig Machine:	Yes
Drink Prices:	Dirt Cheap	# taps:	6
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Being Cheap
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$6.00
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	Yes
TVs:	2	Size:	Normal

Remedy

There are two stories to tell about Remedy. There are the objective facts about Remedy as a bar and then there is our emotional life with Remedy. Let’s start with the facts because they are easier.

Remedy opened about 8 years ago. It used to be Ray's Marlin Grill. It was a pretty well kept secret for a time, as it is kind of off the beaten path, and it became something of an epicenter of hipster culture in Pittsburgh. It has a long bar, with two person high-tops across a narrow walkway. There is rotating art of varying degrees of quality, with some permanent pieces scattered around. There is a dining room past the bar, which can be good if you have a group of 12+ and want to all hang out and talk together. It’s got the acoustics of a gym locker room though. The bar area can be cramped and is really only good for 3-4 person groups. Past the back dining room, there is a small back patio with four tables. It is ideal if you can get a big group and take over the whole porch. It makes for a fun night.

The second floor of Remedy is a totally different scene: it is like a tiny secret hipster dance club. There is a separate bar upstairs and a unisex bathroom. There is also a room with a pool table that is set off from the dance floor with an old fashioned barber chair that is fun to sit in. There are scheduled "nights" on the second floor, but you can also rent it out for special occasions, like say you wanted to use it for your own personal New Year’s Eve bash.

Now, on to us. There was a time, not too long ago, a golden age we'll call it. We spent a lot of time in this bar. A lot. All was good in the world and during this golden age, Remedy was like Cheers for us. We knew everyone there and everyone knew us. The menu still had the Blue Melt and the Riley was born. Fights on the lawn, dance parties upstairs, and access to the mysterious 3rd floor. What a time it was. But nothing lasts forever. The bartenders we knew so well are all gone and we just haven’t been there as much. As we returned for the first time in a while, we didn't feel like the regulars we once were.

Still, we love this bar. Fair warning, it is smoky and can be really crowded on the weekends. The food is actually really good, even though we miss the Blue Melt. The staff is generally really friendly and the dance nights are always fun even if you don’t like the music. And even though the sign by the bar that reads "Don't Stand Here!" refers to us now-a-days, we still are happy to have called this place home.

Address:	5121 Butler St, 15201	Games:	Pool, Magic Touch, Poker, Darts/Cornhole Video Game
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	mix of neighborhood and dirty hipster
Parking:	Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	Yes
Kitchen:	Come Hungry	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	1970s Pittsburgh	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	4pm-2am, Sun 12:30pm-2am	Cig Machine:	Yes
Drink Prices:	Cheap	# taps:	16
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	None, actually
Live music:	DJs upstairs	Riley Factor:	$7.00
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	2	Size:	Normal