The Rock Room

This bar really lives up to its name as long as your definition of rock does not include names like Creed, Hootie and the Blowfish, or Phil Collins (never inadvertently let Phil Collins into your city…inside joke). If your brand of rock is more Motley Crew, Ramones or Guns and Roses, this could be your place.

 Let's get the really obvious stuff out of the way first. The Rock Room is a giant dive. Dirty, grimy, smoky and nasty are just some of the adjectives that come to mind when trying to describe this bar. The bar, the stools, the walls, and the floor all have been abused and used to the edges of their lives. Thankfully, they keep it dim so you can't see how dirty it really is. The back room has so much fluorescent red light you might think you are in a very different type of seedy establishment. 

So, onto the good. It is super cheap and, ummmmm, the bartender was nice and attentive. That is about it.

We did however end up spending a good deal of time there as we had, all the way from the West coast, Master Dickie Brown along with us for our weekly crawl. We ended up having a good time, but this is our kind of place.

Address:	1054 Herron Ave, 15219	Games:	Pool, Darts, Pinball
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Hipster Punk Dive
Parking:	Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Nasty
Smoking:	Some	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	2am	Cig Machine:	Yes
Drink Prices:	Dirt Cheap	# taps:	6
Bathrooms:	Hover	Specials:	daily and nightly
Live music:	Sometimes	Riley Factor:	$7.50
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	3	Size:	Normal

Brewer's Hotel

Brewer's Hotel looks terrifying from the outside. Is it even open? Is it condemned? Am I going to be murdered here? Thankfully the answers are: yes, no, and no.

Once you go inside, it's actually a super cute little gay bar. It seemed like a slightly older crowd, mostly men who knew each other and just wanted to hang out and have a few drinks. It's a pretty small place with a pool table dominating the back half of the bar. It was a Thursday night when we went and there was plenty of room in the place, but it wasn't dead. It really seemed like the kind of place where nothing exciting happens, but good times are had.

Everyone was friendly and seemed to be having a good time. The bartender was surprisingly young and cute, so he should be getting those tips. The beer was dirt cheap. Eight dollars for a bucket of five High Lifes? Yes, thank you. What's not to like?

Address:	3315 Liberty Ave, 15201	Games:	Pool
Façade:	Scary	Scene:	Mellow Gay Dive
Parking:	Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	None	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	Some	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	2am	Cig Machine:	Yes
Drink Prices:	Dirt Cheap	# taps:	4
Bathrooms:	Hover	Specials:	$8 buckets
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$10.00
ATM:	No	Cash Only	No
TVs:	3	Size:	Hole in the Wall

31st Street Pub

We have a lot of fond memories of the 31st St. Pub. We've gone to a lot of great shows and drank a lot of cheap beer there over the years. It's a dive. It's punk. It's metal. It's dirty. There are drum heads and cymbals covering the ceiling, guitars along the walls and more Misfits posters than usual for a bar. J's husband once fell asleep on a speaker at a metal show there, literally, his head on the speaker. It's a favorite story. So, why did the place seem so sad and out of touch on our visit?

We are hoping that it was so sad and empty because there was no show. It's seems clear that people don't spend a lot of time there when there isn't a band. Walking in there is a sign on the wall with the schedule for "Underwear Afternoons." What's an underwear afternoon? Oh, look, your bartender is in her underwear. That's awkward. Every time you think you're just staring into space, you'll find you're actually staring at some poor girl's ass. It's weird. She seemed fine with it and we are hoping she is getting something extra for her efforts.  And by efforts, we mean ass.

Then there's the scrolling sign behind the bar that says, "Fuck gooski's, fuck the smiling moose, fuck cattivo, fuck garfield artworks..." going through every bar or show space in the city. We get that they're all cool and angry and shit, but that just seems like sour grapes.


So, it's still a great smoky dive bar to see a punk, metal, or industrial band play. It is not a good place to just sit around and grab a drink. Unless you’re a creepy creepster who likes to stare at girls in underwear, which is to whom they seem to be catering.

Address:	3101 Penn Ave, 15201 http://www.31stpub.com/	Games:	Darts, Video Game, Poker
Façade:	Scary	Scene:	Metal Dive
Parking:	Fairly Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	None	Cleanliness:	Nasty
Smoking:	1970's Pittsburgh	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	Wed 3pm-9pm, Thur-Fri 3pm-2am Sat 9pm-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Dirt Cheap	# taps:	6
Bathrooms:	Hover	Specials:	No
Live music:	Constant	Riley Factor:	$8.00
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	Yes
TVs:	2	Size:	Normal

The Sharp Edge

Beer beer beer! Beer is what the Sharp Edge prides itself on, as well they should. They have one of the most impressive beer selections in the city and pay great attention not only to the types of beers they serve, but to the delivery system as well. In other words: they have a bunch of fancy glasses.

There are five Sharp Edge concepts, each unique to itself. The Sharp Edge's website can show you them all if you are interested. We are most familiar with the "Beer Emporium" in Friendship, being one of the very early restaurants that moved into the East End. We can't even remember a time when it wasn't there. Back in the day, you had to be buzzed into the place. They had some really great foresight and would probably make a killing selling that place.

The Sharp Edge's downtown location or "Bistro on Penn" is a really beautiful space. It has a long winding comfortable bar with multiple bartenders, couch seating areas, booths, high tops, tables; there is something for everyone. The lighting is dim but not divey, and prices are about what you would expect from a downtown bar. For beer, at least. When we asked how much a double Jack and Coke was, the bartender very kindly suggested that August Henry’s would be a better place to drink any kind of liquor because Sharp Edge charges a million dollars.

At happy hour you can expect a bunch of people in suits sharing beers and business war stories. At night you can expect a "higher class" clientele who consider themselves "into" beer. Which is just fine because beer is a great thing. Just don't talk to us about it. It is beer, it is good, and we get it.

Some of the Sharp Edges are more restaurant than bar, but this one is more bar than restaurant. We might stop into the Beer Emporium for a quick review one day, but we would really be going for the food before we hit other places. The Sharp Edge makes some pretty decent grub.

Address:	922 Penn Ave, 15222 http://sharpedgebeer.com/bistro-on-penn	Games:	None
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Beer
Parking:	Wear Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Come Hungry	Cleanliness:	Nice
Smoking:	None	Jukebox:	N/A
Hours:	Sunn-Thurs 11am-12am Fri-Sat 11am-1am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Richie Rich	# taps:	45
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	4:30-6:30 Happy Hour
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$15.50
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	3	Size:	Friggin' Huge

Grille on Seventh

This one took a serious 180 about halfway through our visit. Starting out, nothing much was happening. J's notes say, "idk, it's a bar, nothing interesting happening here." That was the case until A tried to engage our surly bartender. Then shit got weird.

First, in response to a question about where she was from (she had a fairly thick accent), she asked A if he was gay. Not exactly a normal response to a fairly boring question, but maybe she was just curious. When pressed about it she revealed that she was just trying to insult him. Charming. Who doesn't like a little homophobia with their beer?

Then, while asking about the prices of drinks, she told us to go to 7-11 if we were so concerned about price. Rude, but maybe could be considered banter, I guess. We'll give her that one because what happened next caused complete slack-jawed surprise.

Upon finally admitting that she was from the Czech Republic, she really topped herself. "At least I'm not Indian," she said. "Because then I'd be stinky and cheap." We can certainly see why she got into the service industry. With that kind of flip homophobia and racism, it's a natural fit. She then proceeded, in her own thick accent, to mock the accents of her Indian bosses.

Aside from the incredibly charming service, things were getting weird in general. Bird calls were being tested and A ran into someone who works for the same company and got a lot of shit because the guy doesn't like his job and A does. J had to frantically scribble down the increasingly offensive things coming from the bartender's mouth. It was our last bar of the night and we felt like maybe we were starting to lose our minds. 


So we recommend going elsewhere.  You are downtown; there are a lot of places to go. Go to any of them instead.

Address:	130 7th St, 15222	Games:	None
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Racism and Homophobia/Downtown Happy Hour
Parking:	Wear Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	Yes
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	None	Jukebox:	None
Hours:	Mon-Thurs 11:30am-9pm Fri-Sat 11:30-12am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Richie Rich	# taps:	15
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Not worth it
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$Not Worth It
ATM:	No	Cash Only	No
TVs:	2	Size:	Normal

Seviche

Seviche is full of rich people drinking cocktails, eating fish, and being kind of obnoxious. As negative as that sounds, we're not going to pan it, we just want you to be prepared. This isn't a shot and a beer place; this is a caipirinha and cobia place.

Having said all that, the fish and cocktails are quite lovely. They do a great job with their namesake dish, try the Fire and Ice. The space is fairly small, but as long as you're not part of the pre-show rush there are usually a few seats and tables open. The ceiling is high and conversations reverberate all over the place, it can get pretty loud. Plus you have to factor in the crappy house music. Basically, it's a good thing that the seating is pretty intimate or you would have a really hard time hearing each other. Again, that sounds more like we're bashing it than we really are. We actually kind of dig this place.


It's not cheap here, but it's also not as pricey as you would expect. If you're trying to stuff yourself with seafood, you're going to end up with a bill, but their cocktails are all in the $10 and under range. So, not cheap but not unacceptable either. A highly recommends the Raw with a Twist, it’s delicious. 

Address:	930 Penn Ave, 15222 http://www.seviche.com/	Games:	None
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Rich People and House Music
Parking:	Wear Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	ceviche	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	None	Jukebox:	N/A
Hours:	Mon-Thurs 5pm-12am Fri-Sat 5pm-1am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Average	# taps:	4
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Happy Hour
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$9.63
ATM:	No	Cash Only	No
TVs:	4	Size:	Normal

August Henry's

Having never been in August Henry's, we were excited to see what it had to offer. The first thing we noticed was that it was bright, the second thing we noticed was that the floor was a bit dingy, and the third thing we noticed was that the bartender was an old acquaintance of A's. What a small town. Not only did she remember and recognize A when he asked how much a double Jack and Coke in a pint glass was, she said, “Oh, you mean The Riley.” Busted.

Normally when we get busted we abort. However, we had a very interesting conversation with the not-no-be-named bartender, which deserves to be shared with the wider world.

They are looking to undergo some significant changes at August Henry's and we are excited to see how they turn out. Apparently the bar competition along the Penn Avenue corridor is really heating up, with two new entries on the way. August Henry's has smartly decided to go niche. From what we understand, they are going to morph into a more bourbon-centric, smaller menu kind of place that is missing in the cultural district. They’re trying to bring some of that hipster fanciness downtown with whiskey and smoke-infused drinks. It’s not a bad idea because that niche is not being filled yet downtown, that we know of.

As of now, August Henry’s is just a typical bar, with some tasty punches that the not-to-be-named bartender mixed up. They currently have a dated bar menu and the place has a bit of a dusty feel to it, but we have a lot of optimism that they can turn it into something more interesting.

The space itself is really great, with big windows to the street and a lot of open area with high-tops and nice woodwork. There is also a little dining area, which is split off from the bar by a partition. I am sure some people enjoy this, but to us it seems like wasted bar space. (Note from the Editor: This is a hot spot during lunch hour downtown).

We learned that they do turn the lights down later on in the night. Apparently they want people to be able to see the food they are eating. We also learned a lot about the bar scene on Penn Avenue, which was pretty interesting.

So, we can’t really recommend it too highly right now, but go check it out in a month. Tell us what changes they have made! We are excited to see what they can do with the old girl.

Address:	946 Penn Ave, 15222 http://www.augusthenrys.com/	Games:	None
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	None
Parking:	Wear Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	None	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	11am-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Average	# taps:	8
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Daily
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$9.10
ATM:	No	Cash Only	No
TVs:	2	Size:	Normal