Benjamins Western Avenue Burger Bar

I’m going to come right out and say it: I want to marry this bar.  I want to make a home with it and have its little boozy babies.  That might seem like a leap after one date, but I am ready to commit.  The only problem is that it lives in the North Side and I live in the East End which, in Pittsburgh, equates to a long distance romance.

It’s perfectly dim.  The kind of dim where everything looks romantic and everyone looks attractive, but not so dark that you’ll go home with the wrong person or eat the wrong thing.  It has beautiful exposed brick walls, butcher block bar-top and tables and a gas fireplace in the wall.  Walking in, it smelled like bacon.  Fresh, delicious bacon smell just to pull you in and whet your appetite.

The menu is full of handcrafted burgers (meat and veggie), charcuterie, homemade pickled things, a more luxe version of traditional bar food.  We ordered the charcuterie board (meats from Crested Duck) and it was very nice.  The pickles made me understand why “Pickled Stuff” is an option as a snack. 

The space is small and cozy, just a few tables and a mid-sized bar.  Up the stairs a half-level there is a pool table surrounded by sofas (that have yet to be destroyed).  They had only been open six weeks on our visit, so we’ll see how that plush furniture holds up. 

Given all of this, it’s not a cheap place.  It’s working on the upscale hipster model.  There are no draft beers, which is surprising, but a large selection of cans and bottles.  Also, a nicer selection of wines and liquors than you find in most non-specialty bars.  Still, the prices are, in no way, outrageous.  Their Happy Hour specials are definitely super affordable: $1 off beer special, $4 wine special, $3 mixed drinks.  If you can, go check this place out.

Address:	900 Western Ave, 15233 http://www.benjaminspgh.com/	Games:	Pool Table
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Rich Hipster
Parking:	Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	Yes
Kitchen:	Come Hungry	Cleanliness:	Nice
Smoking:	No	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	-midnight	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Richie Rich	# taps:	0
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Nightly
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$12
ATM:	No	Cash Only	No
TVs:	4	Size:	Friggin Huge

Dale's Bar and Grill

We built this ba-ar!  We built this ba-ar with yin-zer stuff!  

What a time warp; I am pretty sure nothing has been added, removed, changed or cleaned in this place since 1985. It still, really, feels like somewhere you stopped on the way home from the mill. (As an aside: the women’s room was surprisingly clean, but covered with cigarette burn marks from 40 years of Pall Malls being precariously balanced on the sink.)

The first notable thing was the regular crew; this is definitely a locals bar. They were making themselves at home, playing pool, singing along to the jukebox and generally being rowdy and fun. Familiar Classic Rock from the 80s was blaring from the jukebox, with one of the regulars screaming “SLAYER!” during a break in the music (which made us smile, looking at you D.P.).
The bar was dimly lit and decked out like a classic dive bar.  We were promptly, if indifferently, served our drinks. As we started to settle in the bartender rejoined his friends at the other end of the bar. We were mostly ignored by the regulars, but had a nice time hanging out there for a while.  

They have four crappy beers on tap and the most exotic of the bottles was Heineken. The cooler did contain a vast selection of cheap pounders, though.  Mid-shelf liquor was their top shelf liquor. There was minimal bar food, but we couldn’t get up the nerve to order anything (what they did serve was brought out on paper plates). However, when you can get a shot a Jim, a shot of Jameson, a Yuengling and a High Life for $9.75, you can’t complain.

Dale’s has a nice pressed tin ceiling, a real jukebox, decent pool table (the nice pool sticks being the only possible new addition to the bar), bar food, dart board...all in all, a small but comfortable space. It has a nice vibe to it.  No frills, just cheap booze and hard living at Greenfield’s best dive bar.

Address:	4377 Murray Ave, 15207	Games:	Pool Table, Darts, Magic Touch
Façade:	Scary	Scene:	Yinzer, Dive
Parking:	Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	Yes	Jukebox:	Yes-moslty Classic Rock
Hours:	-2am	Cig Machine:	Yes
Drink Prices:	Dirt Cheap	# taps:	4
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	No
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$5.80
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	Yes
TVs:	2	Size:	Normal

Silky's Squirrel Hill

Professional, but plastic: a Squirrel Hill version of a sports bar.  If you’re looking for decent service, American bar food and a typical beer selection on a Tuesday night, then this will fit the bill.  But, if you’re looking for an engaging experience with a unique culture this is not your spot.

There is a lot of open space with ample seating, lots of tvs for potential game watching.  There are multiple bar games, with a special shout out to shuffle board, which is a lot of fun.  It’s got a faux rustic vibe and is decorated like a classier TGI Friday’s.  If you hail from the suburbs, you might feel right at home here.  

We were lucky enough to be there when they had an Oktoberfest special which was tasty: sausages and kielbasas, potatoes and sauerkraut.  But the basic menu is nothing that you would not find anywhere else.  It’s stuff that your dad would want to eat at an old person sports bar.

The bar service was friendly but removed.  The management seemed on edge and a bit creepy, which colored the vibe of the entire establishment.  But both food and drink came timely and correctly.  Light pour on the whiskey, though.

It got really weird when they figured out that we were casing the joint, with free drinks and an offer of free Mineo’s pizza and a long explanation of how they had had “no complaints, no complaints” which smacked of trying too hard.  But we took the free drinks…
Overall, even if you lived right around there, I would not go out of my way to go to Silky’s Sq. Hill.  It feels like a boring chain restaurant forced into the form of an up scale sports bar.   

  

Address:	1731 Murray Ave, 15217	Games:	Shuffleboard, Darts, Magic Touch
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Yinzer
Parking:	Wear Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Nice
Smoking:	Yes	Jukebox:	Classic Rock XM Radio
Hours:	-2am	Cig Machine:	Yes
Drink Prices:	Average	# taps:	15
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Nightly
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$10
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	~10	Size:	Friggin Huge

The Modern Cafe

We walked into a buzz-saw at this bar.  We entered the brightly lit space and found two seats at a mostly empty bar.  We were immediately drafted into playing trivia with the only couple at the bar.  The moderator was very loud and hovered right in front of us for the next 45 minutes.  While there is nothing wrong with trivia this particular set up was uncomfortable.  At any rate, we played, we lost, we got a free drink for our efforts.  

While we played trivia we ordered food from a pretty uninspired menu (fried things, sandwiches, salads) and got a couple of drinks.  The food was mediocre, at best.  The liquor selection was middle shelf and limited.  They have drink specials every weeknight, but they seem pretty random.  It was "Wine and Whiskey Wednesday!" when we were there.  They have a pretty good beer selection: twelve drafts and a selection of microbrews in bottles and cans.

The place had a greenish hue, and felt very sterile (plus side, clean!).  The bathrooms were even brighter than the bar and felt like a bathroom at a hospital.  The seating area was awkwardly situated and felt very exposed.  Dart board.  Internet crap juke-box.  Yawn.

It seemed like a pretty definitive “locals” bar where everyone was on a first name basis.  The result of which was feeling, alternately, bulldozed into participating and ignored.

Unless you live right there, and you had been kicked out of all the other bars in the area, we can’t see hanging out here.  For a place called Modern, it did not strike us as such.

 

Address:	862 Western Ave, 15233 http://www.themoderncafe.com/	Games:	Darts, Magic Touch
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Yinzer
Parking:	Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Nice
Smoking:	No	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Average	# taps:	12
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Nightly
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$8-10
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	4	Size:	Normal

Squirrel Hill Cafe

The Squirrel Hill Café, otherwise known as The Squirrel Cage or just simply The Cage, is the only “dive bar” in Sq. Hill. I would call it an upscale dive bar, maybe? A dive bar to which I could take my parents.

(Full disclosure, we have been going to The Cage for well over a decade. We seem to go less-and-less as the years go by, but not much has changed.)

The space is cozy, cramped when full, but this was a Tuesday night (which is both game night and import night), so it was far from capacity. The bartender is engaging and witty with a vast knowledge of his craft and wares. Additionally, he seems to have free reign over the bar and creates a welcoming and inclusive atmosphere when you are hanging out with him.

The service at the booths, of which there are many, can be slow. The food is the same bar food they’ve always had: dips, fried food, sandwiches, hot cheese balls. (Mmmm, hot cheese balls.) Don’t go looking for a gourmet meal. However, my friend Travis stubbornly insists they have the "best burgers in the burgh!”

The main drawback to The Cage is that if you have more than four people, it can be very difficult to hang out comfortably. There are tables in the middle that you can cobble together, but it is not the best experience. It is more about a small intimate gathering.

It is a smoking bar, but it is fairly well ventilated. It’s is not all-consuming like some other bars we have been to. Bathrooms are still tiny, but not as gross as I remember. No TP on a Tuesday night means no TP any night of the week, though.

Overall, The Squirrel Cage has its time and place in the world; it’s a good fit for a group of 2 -4 people looking a low-key, smoker friendly place to hangout. The fried mushrooms burnt my tongue, so my instinct is -10000 points, but we’ll let that slide this time.

Address:	5802 Forbes Ave, 15217	Games:	Tuesday Board Game night / Pinball
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Hipster, Dive
Parking:	Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	Yes	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Average	# taps:	forgot to check
Bathrooms:	Hover	Specials:	Nightly
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$9.50
		Cash Only	No
TVs:	2	Size:	Medium