The Garage Door Saloon

J fully intended to rip this bar apart and destroy whatever it might stand for, but goddammit, it's actually a pretty great bar.

A lot of J's youthful follies took place in this bar back when it was The Next Decade. There were rock shows and birthday spankings. There were strip teases and bare asses on the stools. There were drugs and there was after hours drinking. There were probably a lot of other things that J just can't remember. The place was dirty and dark and smelled kind of bad. The pool table was so warped that anyone could win; a game of skill became a complete game of chance. It was cheap as shit and James made the best bloody mary in the city for when 4pm rolled around and you still really needed that bloody mary. To say that J has feelings about this place is an understatement. And nothing is more dangerous than a 30-something feeling nostalgic for her college bar.

So, screw this place for being so nice. Why aren't you terrible? Why are you so much better laid out, and cleaner, and all around nicer? If you were going to go that route, couldn't you follow through with some bourgie college grossness, at least? No, you had to keep the cool punk feel of the place and make it better. You had to expand the beer selection impressively, but still keep it cheap. Screw your brand new pool tables that people can actually play on, man! Dart boards? Well, isn't that nice? Actually, yeah, the dart boards are totally nice. Also, the hole in the wall where you can buy pizza from next door? The most genius thing I've ever seen in a bar that doesn't serve food.

Even the bartenders were adorable and super nice. They humored J's ramblings with aplomb and were knowledgeable about their beers. They also warned us that after 11 or 12 on the weekends, the place does get flooded with college kids. So, maybe we can go back then and really get our hate on. It really sucks how much we liked this bar.

Address:	223 Atwood St, 15213	Games:	Pool, Darts, Air Hockey
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Punk Rock College
Parking:	Wear walking shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	None	Cleanliness:	Nice
Smoking:	Some	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	-2am	Cig Machine:	Yes
Drink Prices:	Cheap	# taps:	24
Bathrooms:	Average	Specials:	A lot, posted on the wall
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$6.00
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	8	Size:	Average

Peter's Pub

Peter's Pub is just such a college bar. That is its sole purpose in life. It's not the best college bar, it's not the worst college bar, it's just a respectable college sports bar.

The first thing: we're way too old to be here. Every other patron is trying to figure out what class of theirs we might teach. That's right kids, tremble before our possible power while you guzzle those leftover green beers!

The second thing: the bar-back unloaded four cases of Red Bull into the cooler while we were there. He showed no signs of stopping. If you want to know what the kids are drinking these days, it involves Red Bull.

I think that's about all of the things. It's a college sports bar. It has an upstairs bar where there are occasionally DJs or bands. Let's not worry about it too much, we're all too old to be there.

Address:	116 Oakland Ave, 15213  http://www.mypeterspub.com/	Games:	Darts
Façade:	Normal	Scene:	College Sports Bar
Parking:	Wear Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	None	Jukebox:	March Madness
Hours:	11am-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Average	# taps:	18
Bathrooms:	Average	Specials:	exactly the ones you would expect
Live music:	Upstairs sometimes	Riley Factor:	$9.00
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	4+	Size:	Average

Belvedere's Ultra-Dive

We've avoided Belvedere's for a long, long time. Back in the day, we would occasionally go to the dance nights or shows when things first started moving there from Oakland, but we never really got comfortable in the new home of 80's night. The back room at Belvedere's is a little like hanging out in your parents' basement or at an Elks Lodge; with the wood paneling, drop ceilings, and old nasty couches thrown all over its huge back room. In this instance, though, your parents or lodge members are the worst junkies in the world and you shouldn't touch anything that they own.  However, as we settled in during our recent visit, we realized that we had never hung out at the actual bar at Belvedere's on a random night, and you know what? It’s not so bad.

The one really bad thing (and we'll get this out of the way before we say what is good) is you get hit in the face with a cloud of smoke when you walk into Belevedere's. It is 1970’s Pittsburgh in there. They need some sort of airflow, any sort of airflow. If you can adjust to the haze, it is not so bad. The bar is nice. The whole place is HUGE. The bar area has lots of room, but if you needed much, much more space, the back room is enormous.  

There is a whole other bar in the back room and a stage for bands (which sadly was the last hurrah for A's whiskey-driven rock-and-roll band, The Sporting Life...brought down by a wandering bass drum, who would have thunk).  The couches and chairs arranged in seating groups are still totally disgusting, though. Don't sit on them. There are pool tables and pinball machines, which are less disgusting and can be touched without feeling like you need a booster shot. It is big enough that they do a roller skating night called Down and Derby there. So, pretty big. 

They have all kinds of crazy shots: Canadian Breakfast, Chocolate Covered Pretzels, Rainbow Shot, and of course, the ever popular Pickle Back (which is a shot of Jameson followed by a shot of pickle juice; try it). In addition, they have a good selection of reasonably priced beers, and what seemed to be a friendly bartender.  The bar area was also much cleaner than we remembered. Like, a lot cleaner than we remembered. It is possible that they aren't really living up to the name "Ultra-Dive."

Now, will we go to the next 80's night there as a result of our visit? No. The idea of being packed into that space on a Friday or Saturday night is just not that appealing to us anymore. BUT, I think we might stop making fun of it so much, and maybe stop by for another drink one day.

Address:	4016 Butler Street, 15201  http://belvederesultradive.com/	Games:	Pool, Darts, Pinball
Façade:	Shady	Scene:	Dive Bar / Parents Basement Dance Club
Parking:	Wear walking shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	None	Cleanliness:	Normal - Covered in layer of smoke
Smoking:	1970's Pittsburgh at a Steel Mill	Jukebox:	broken internet crap
Hours:	Monday thru Sunday 11am - 2am	Cig Machine:	Did not see one.
Drink Prices:	Cheapish	# taps:	7
Bathrooms:	Hover	Specials:	Daily Specials
Live music:	Yes	Riley Factor:	$7.50
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	1	Size:	Friggin' Huge!

Harvard & Highland

This bar tried to kill J by sneaking death-inducing pecans into the chicken liver pate, but we'll try to not let attempted murder color our review too much. Ahem.

Harvard & Highland is a new space located above Union Pig and Chicken in East Liberty. Everything is still brand new and shiny looking. It is a very classy kind of bar: you're not even allowed to eat your food at the bar, you must eat at a table like a responsible human being. It still has that "New Bar Smell" and we were glad that we got to visit it early on in its life.

It is a lovely space full of light wood, Adirondack chairs, and floor to ceiling windows. On a cold March night it seemed a little out of season, but we can imagine how lovely everything will look on a summer evening. Their main focus is on fancy cocktails (including two draft cocktails) and fancy whiskeys. It is priced accordingly. So, this is not a bar that you would spend a whole night in (unless your tax bracket is way above ours), but it's a great spot to have a drink or two. You can order from the full Pig & Chicken menu, fully sating both your fancy drink and BBQ urges at once.

Things that we learned at Harvard & Highland: 1) There is a Bartenders' Guild of which there is a Pittsburgh chapter. 2) We don't like chicken hearts. 3) Someone is always out to kill J.

Address:	220 N Highland Ave, 15206 http://unionpgh.com/	Games:	Nope.
Façade:	Normal	Scene:	Fancy BBQ
Parking:	Decent	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	BBQ	Cleanliness:	Nice
Smoking:	None	Jukebox:	N/A
Hours:	11am-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Richie Rich	# taps:	4
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	N/A
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	N/A
ATM:	No	Cash Only	No
TVs:	1	Size:	Average

Fanattics-CLOSED

Fanattics is possibly the tiniest “sports bar” in the world. It has the requisite number of TVs, but not much space. The space that is there is divided into two: bar on one side, pool table on the other.  There were a number of friendly natives at the bar who seemed interested in the fresh blood in their space. This was the third bar of the night, so our notes were a little messier and more stream-of-consciousness. (Does the cute girl with the mohawk color the review of the bar? Well, maybe.)  

Tuesday night is both import night and taco night, neither of which we sampled. Other than tacos, it was a standard bar menu of pizzas, quesadillas, wraps and burgers. Entertainment was Parenthood on the TV, a fat white guy doing the entire Gangnam Style dance and a ton of Drake being played. Like, three or more songs! Which seems like a lot of Drake for one evening.

The bartender was great. He was engaging and funny, but not over-bearing. He also had the bright idea to make Fanattics into a normal everyday bar, which we think would help its client base given the neighborhood. He thinks they should drop the sports bar angle because ladies don’t come there. This is both kind of sexist and kind of true.

It might have been the drinks, it might have been the company, it might have been the cute girl with the mohawk, but we had a great time. It's a shame that we will never be able to convince anyone to hang out there.  

Address:	1704 Shady Ave, 15217	Games:	Pool
Façade:	Not scary	Scene:	tiny sports bar
Parking:	Decent	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Nice
Smoking:	Some	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	4pm-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Average	# taps:	11
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	nightly
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$9.00
ATM:	No	Cash Only	No
TVs:	7	Size:	Hole in the wall