Social

Located in Bakery Square, right under the hallowed Google Pittsburgh office, Social is a bright and modern bar with a lot of potential. We like to think that some Googlers with extra cash lying around were like, “We really need a bar where we can drink right after work,” and then started this place on a whim. It is heavily branded with Social the pint glass, Social the t-shirt, Social the beer coozie, Social the coaster, and my favorite, Social the flamethrower (the kids love it).

Social opened on July 15th and we were there on July 16^th. Needless to say, there were some opening week energy/jitters going on with the staff and the customers. We tormented our poor bartender with complex questions like, “What does this drink special mean?” and “How much would a double Jack and Coke cost?” Both questions required much work and effort on her part and it was only her first day. We have faith that they will learn all of their drinks in time, and that her job will get much easier.

The staff and management were present and friendly, and we are pretty sure we saw ownership grabbing glasses and running around pressing the flesh. It is always a good sign to have the ownership involved at the ground level.

There is a large rectangular bar in the middle of the space, firmly establishing this as a bar, not a restaurant. Our biggest complaint about this bar would actually have to be the physical bar-top itself. They chose a faux distressed oxidized rusty gold looking thing, which just seems really cheap and tacky compared to the rest of the space. There are a couple of booths, and high-tops and tables in the back. There is even a good deal of outside seating. It is a good sized space and was full, but not packed when we were there.

The drink menu has some delicious looking drinks with the prerequisite $10 cocktails, and the food menu is impressive, bordering on interesting. We both ate there and agreed that the food was well above your average bar food, and A's mushroom pizza was especially delicious. They have a limited liquor selection, but they have everything you should want, as long as you are not J's hubby (shout out to Snacky B!)

This place is definitely worth a look. We are not sure what kind of atmosphere it will have after the dust has settled, but it has a lot of potential. It also seems like the best place to be if you’re trying to pick up a Google employee, and that’s not a bad idea.

Address:	6425 Penn Ave, 15206 http://www.bakerysocial.com/	Games:	Darts
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Google
Parking:	Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	Yes
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Nice
Smoking:	None	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	Sun-Th 11am-12am, Fri-Sat11am-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Average	# taps:	16
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Happy Hour
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$7.60 but we're pretty sure she was wrong about that
ATM:	No	Cash Only	No
TVs:	8	Size:	Normal

Library

To save us time, sanity and to keep us from writing "this is a typical South Side bar" over and over, we're taking a different approach: haiku. Assume everything you know about the South Side to be true, our haiku will fill in the gaps.

Great place, deserves more

do not study here for sure
make sure to explore

Address:	2302 East Carson, 15203 http://www.thelibrary-pgh.com/	Games:	Pool, Darts
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Upscale Southside
Parking:	Wear Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	Yes
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	None	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	11am-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Richie Rich	# taps:	10
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Happy Hour
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$10.00
ATM:	No	Cash Only	No
TVs:	Don't Know	Size:	Friggin' Huge

Park House

We made a friend! Well, we like to think we made a friend. We are waiting by our phone. Normally we lead off a review by talking about what the bar looked like, or what type of drinks they have, but this bar was definitely made by the bartender. Don't get us wrong, the place is nice and all, but as with anything in life it is only as nice as the company you share it with, and the bartender at Park House with the Princess Leia shirt rocks. She was incredibly kind to a down on her luck patron next to us and has great taste in music. Call us!

Regardless of the awesomeness of the bartender, the drinks were expensive. Given the transaction we saw across the street at Peanutz, it seems likely that they are trying to price out a certain type of clientele. That is a topic for a whole different type of blog.

We were on our way to a show at Stage AE that evening and needed to eat some food before the night's festivities. After we carefully reviewed the menu, we both settled on gyros. We agreed that it was weird to order the same thing for some strange unwritten societal reason, but then went ahead and ordered them anyways. They were very tasty. We both made an excellent decision. Steve Holt!

As we said earlier, Park House really is a nice space. It has a long wooden bar, with complementary woodwork all around, a beautiful pressed tin ceiling with chandeliers, and a good number of tables scattered around and in the back. It is spacious and we felt very comfortable hanging out there for a good long time. We will definitely head back if we are ever in the area and you should too.

Address:	403 East Ohio St, 15212 http://parkhousepgh.com/	Games:	Darts, Magic Touch
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Traditional Bar
Parking:	Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Normal
Smoking:	None	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	Mon-Sat 5pm-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Richie Rich	# taps:	20
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Happy Hour
Live music:	Sometimes	Riley Factor:	$10.50
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	3	Size:	Normal

Peanutz

The first sign that something is wrong is that Peanuts is spelled with a Z. Never trust a name that substitutes a Z for an S. It is only a sign of trouble to come.

The second sign was when the woman sitting next to us at the Park House said, "Ehhhhh, I really wouldn't go over there." When we explained that we had to because we were on a mission from god, she looked at us sideways and said, "Well, best do it now while it's still light out."

Walking into Peanutz we expected the worst. Our first impression was that it wasn't that bad, what was all the fuss about? It was kind of nice. We have surely been in much dingier places. Sure, our bartender had the build of a skeleton and was visibly shaking, but that happens sometimes. We ordered our beers in bottles just to be on the safe side. Pro bar tip: if you're in a questionable bar, don't order a draft.

The fun really started when we tried to use the bathrooms. The walk down to them is like the beginning of a slasher flick. The walls are just covered with plastic sheeting and it looks like the audience would be screaming at you to not go down there, not even to check out that suspicious noise. The men's room was covered in shit. The ladies' room featured stopped up toilets and a piece of someone's scalp in the sink. Oh yes, what looked at first to be a rogue piece of weave had a chunk of human scalp attached to it.

The final nail in the coffin was when a clearly pregnant girl came in and seemed, pretty clearly, to buy drugs from someone in the bar. This is the first bar that we ever bailed out of, leaving two unfinished beers in our wake.

Address:	410 East Ohio St, 15212	Games:	Claw Game
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Meth?
Parking:	Easy	Patio/Outdoor:	No
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Bar is Normal, Bathrooms are NASTY
Smoking:	Some	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	-2am	Cig Machine:	Yes
Drink Prices:	Average	# taps:	8
Bathrooms:	Hold it	Specials:	D/K
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$9.00
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	4	Size:	Normal

Mario's East Side

A: First and foremost, I would like to express my condolences to Shadyside for the death of Doc's. You were a great neighborhood bar and you will be missed. RIP Doc's. (1965-2011.)

J: I could give a shit about Doc’s. Suck it, Doc’s.

A shoots J an evil look.

A: Anyway, the name Mario's conjures up images of the South Side’s main meat market. South Side Mario’s is high on my list of worst bars in the burgh. I am just well past the meat market stage of my life. So, when I heard that they were taking over one of the best go-to bars in Shadyside, it made my heart break a little.  

J: My care level is unmoved. I can‘t disagree with anything else here, though. Mario’s South Side is about the worst. My heart remains unbroken for Doc’s.

A: At least we can agree that Mario’s South Side is the worst, even though your heart is a cold and tiny ball of hate. The real issue with the Mario’s brand is the clientele that it attracts. After the re-branding of Doc's to Mario's, the atmosphere there changed from a casual neighborhood bar to a thumping, bumping party place.

J: My time spent in Walnut Street bars is limited, to say the least. It seemed fine while we were there, but any bar that has a “wheel of shots” for when people can’t decide on their own drink is highly suspect to me.

A: Yes, the shot wheel is way over the top. The space is beautiful though. The Mario's people did do a great job of giving it a make-over. It is a huge bar with lots and lots of space. There is a beautiful and spacious roof deck with a second bar upstairs. There are lots of TVs inside and outside and even propane heaters to make the outside space available in the winter. They have a dart board and a shuffle-board table. The drinks are a bit pricey and the service can be pretentious; we watched a poor guy try to flag down a bartender for a good 5 minutes. The bartender seemed to be ignoring him almost on purpose.  

J: Agreed. It is a very nice, big, and well-appointed space that I will never go to again.

A: Well, I do know people who go there regularly that I am very fond of, and if that is your thing, then more power to you. It just isn't for me. I was never into that kind of scene anyway; being from the land of misfit toys growing up.

J: Yeah, I just kind of hate horny rich people.

A: Anyways, it’s a beautiful bar with a great space, a great location, and a crappy atmosphere, that J will never go to again.

Address:	5442 Walnut St, 15232 http://www.mariospgh.com/eastside/	Games:	Darts, Shuffleboard
Façade:	Not Scary	Scene:	Rich People
Parking:	Wear Walking Shoes	Patio/Outdoor:	Yes
Kitchen:	Bar Food	Cleanliness:	Nice
Smoking:	None	Jukebox:	Internet Crap
Hours:	4pm-2am	Cig Machine:	No
Drink Prices:	Richie Rich	# taps:	10
Bathrooms:	Sit	Specials:	Happy Hour
Live music:	Never	Riley Factor:	$10.00
ATM:	Yes	Cash Only	No
TVs:	8	Size:	Friggin' Huge